What a Waste...

Who is Yeast?

2010-10-26T23:32:00.002-04:00

+AMDG+

Jesus said, “What is the Kingdom of God like?
To what can I compare it?
It is like a mustard seed that a man took and planted in the garden.
When it was fully grown, it became a large bush
and the birds of the sky dwelt in its branches.”

Again he said, “To what shall I compare the Kingdom of God?
It is like yeast that a woman took
and mixed in with three measures of wheat flour
until the whole batch of dough was leavened.”

-Luke 13:18-21

You know for the longest time I thought that the Parable of the Yeast was about us. That it was about the effect of Christians in the world. Well, I really thought it was about my effects as a "Christian" in the world. How can I inspire, and how can I bring people to God, and how can I convert people, and how can I make the world a better place for the children; because they really are our future.

If I was honest about it I'd say that God was the vehicle I used for my own personal glorification. In prayer yesterday Our Lord laid some truth on me. He didn't start with the words, "You Hypocrite" thankfully, but He could have. Our Lord said to me, "Louis, I am the yeast not you. You are the three measures, your body, mind and heart. I make you grow."

It was a revelation to me to remember that this is all about Jesus. He is King, He is Lord, He is God.

Pray well!

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

2010-10-25T20:54:00.003-04:00

+AMDG+

(I wrote this throughout the day)

3:58pm

I watched some movies yesterday. Here they are:

Iron Man 2

X-Men: Wolverine Origin

A Serious Man

And the The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. (Please see first picture)

That is a lot of movies for one day. At first I woke up late because it takes forever to get home now from the city. Then I planned to go to mass at night and I didn't go. No big excuses, no big emergency preventing me from going, just the lack of will to go give praise and worship to God. So now I am on my way to confession and mass. I need to be right with God again.

4:52pm
(right before confession)

Lord, how do you have so much mercy? How have you not annihilated me yet? You don't ask for much and I can't even give you that? Lord, thank you for not smiting me, thank you for your patience. Your love knows no boundaries. Help me not to despair for my own soul.

5:14pm
(after confession)

Thank you Lord for your forgiveness!

Lord you call me out of the world and you call me to live in the Kingdom of God.

The Gospel today makes more sense when you are the person with whose back is bent because of the weight of sin. When you feel like you can't web pray because your sin is so heavy that it causes you to forget that you are in the presence of God. Then Jesus comes and heals you by releasing you of your burden. At that moment you are able to stand up and look at God and pray to him with a clean heart.

The sacrament of confession is such a beautiful sacrament because Jesus makes us whole again and clean again. I absolutely encourage you to go if you have not gone in a while and get right with God.

Pray well!

The Great Divider

2010-10-21T13:35:00.004-04:00

+AMDG+

The readings for today.

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth?

No, I tell you, but rather division."

-Luke 12:51

Jesus, the Great Divider... Sometimes the Lord says things like this and you don't know what to make it it.

"Why would the Prince of Peace say this?" we might think. Most people are comfortable where they are, in the sense that they are not going out of their way to change their current situation. Everyone, whether they know it or not, wants stability. For example, if you have iTunes on your computer, you dread seeing this:

All I think is, "Oh great, now what have they changed!"

I know for me I associate peace with being comfortable, at least that is the message the world tells us. People buy little Zen Gardens for a desk at work or a Bonsai tree because they see a monk use this to get some "peace." We want this look-at-the-ground, pour-water-slowly, no-one-yelling, no-one-making-demands-on us, everything-is-great peace; that is one way we define earthly peace.

But Christ offers us something different. He offers us a peace that no matter what happens to us, the world can't touch it. This peace comes from remembering something that people never want to mention. We do not mention it outside, or sometimes even inside churches. Its a secret.

Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!! I will tell you. No one is looking right?!?!

You are ALWAYS in the Presence of God.

You just don't realize it.

Do you really think Our Lord's Presence ends when we put him in a pretty golden box?

Do you think Our Lord is limited by cement blocks and wooden doors?

Do you really believe that Our Lord's Presence is limited by a certain number of feet or yards? or by time? or by space?

You are always in the Presence of God. Once you believe this, and you start thinking, "wait, if I wouldn't do these sins in the church then why would I do them outside of the Church?" It is difficult to undo a lifetime of sinful habits but leave that to God, He will do that, you, just remember you are in His Presence.

When a person upsets the world's understanding of peace, they have to be prepared for the division it will awaken in others no matter how close they might be now. People don't like boat rockers sometimes they might even crucify them...

Pray well!

Jesus, the Great Divider, have mercy on us.

How much has God entrusted to you?

2010-10-20T12:19:00.000-04:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings for today.

(The end of the parable Jesus was telling.)

"That servant who knew his master’s will
but did not make preparations nor act in accord with his will
shall be beaten severely;
and the servant who was ignorant of his master’s will
but acted in a way deserving of a severe beating
shall be beaten only lightly.
Much will be required of the person entrusted with much,
and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more.”

Are we a people entrusted with more? How much have we've been given and how much do we do with what we've been given? In NYC we have access to hundreds of parishes, different churches with adoration available, confessions are heard daily and yet do we use them to deepen our relationship with Jesus?

I know for myself I tend to hoard what I have been given. I tend not to lend them out either because of fear that I won't get them back at all. Whether it is video games, movies, or books I am fearful that the little that I have will be taken away.

I see this hoarding in my relationships with others and God. The gifts that God has given me, I try to keep and protect so I never lose them. I became the servant that buries the talent instead of trying to find ways to multiply it for my Master. A couple of years ago I was hurt pretty bad by some friends and I found myself being closed off to everyone. This was until very recently. I kept thinking I was living out my Catholic faith by "not throwing pearls before swines;" and I kept ignoring the voice of the Lord calling me to reconcile this part of my life. This was my attitude towards God:

And this was His respond towards me:

But because I was able to let go of that past anger and hurt, I have found much deeper friendships with more people. People who I can share my heart with and they can share theirs with me.

Thank you God for calling us to healing and to point our to us that we are not using what you have given us to better the Kingdom!

Pray well!

That's a lot of Peaces

2010-10-19T11:42:00.002-04:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings for today.

"Brothers and sisters:
You were at that time without Christ,
alienated from the community of Israel
and strangers to the covenants of promise,
without hope and without God in the world.
But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off
have become near by the Blood of Christ.

For he is our peace..." - Ephesians 2:11-14

I remember that to long ago that was me. I had no idea of the beautiful faith I was given. I had no idea of my ancestors in the faith, no idea of the covenant that God made with us, I had no hope, and just about the only thing I had was a world without God.

"But now in Christ Jesus you who were once far off have become near by the Blood of Christ."

And also for me by his Body. The Eucharist and adoration helped to bring me back to God. It is a place that I don't want to leave. This quote I read today from Brother Lawrence of the Resurrection summed it up, "Let us often reflect, my dear Mother, that our only concern in this life is to please God: What can anything else be but folly and vanity?"

This is the book I go the quote from.

The other thought that came to mind during the readings was the word "peace."

The word peace is said today in the readings 10 times including the Psalms. That is a lot. I think today I realized something that I never really thought about before. I think peace is the absence of conflict. I think it is something that I can achieve when I have everything under control. Like when I have my anger under control then I am peaceful. But peace is a gift from God, it is not something that I do but something I receive. When I go to the dentist to get "my teeth fixed" it is the dentist that fixes them, I just sit in the chair and let him work.

Lord continue to give me the gift of Your peace and help me open your gift.

Pray well!

Lord teach us to pray

2010-10-18T01:57:00.003-04:00

+AMDG+

Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he had finished,
one of his disciples said to him,
“Lord, teach us to pray just as John taught his disciples.”
He said to them, “When you pray, say:

Father, hallowed be your name,
your Kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread
and forgive us our sins
for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us,
and do not subject us to the final test.”

-Luke 11:1-4

It is interesting to think of Jesus praying. I mean He is God, who did He pray to? Did He ask the Holy Spirit to help Him pray to the Father? Did he get distracted when He prayed? Did He "pray the distractions?" Did He start every prayer with the Our Father or did He say the Psalms? Did He have ecstasies or mystical visions? Did he speak in tongues or prophesy?

In St. Luke's Gospel, he mentions Jesus praying a lot. Why did St. Luke feel the need to mention this so often? When Our Lord did pray was He the Publican in the front or the repentant sinner in the back? Or was He somewhere in the middle?

How did He who knew the hearts of all calm Bis own Sacred Heart to hear the whisper of His own Father, His own Daddy? We know Jesus prays for us to His Father, in St. Luke's Gospel before his agony in the garden he tells Simon Peter:

"Simon, Simon, behold Satan has demanded to sift you all like wheat, but I have prayed that your own faith may not fail; and once you have turn back, you must strengthen your brothers."- Luke 22:31-32

Jesus prayed for St. Peter... I don't think I have ever asked Jesus to pray for me, but I have longed to hear, "Louis, Louis, behold Satan has demanded to sift you like wheat."

Satan demanding to sift us!

I know Satan doesn't want me to know God or to follow Him or to pray or to love God or to know God's Love for me, that isn't something new. "But Louis I have prayed for you that your own faith won't fail; and once you turn back, you must strengthen you brothers." Jesus doesn't pray for our strength not to give out or our perseverance to fail but for our faith not fail. That we may NEVER lose our faith in the Father.

He wants us to trust that God can do anything in our lives no matter how horrible the situation is. "Louis I pray for you that never stop trusting Dad. He's going to take care of you always just stay faithful."

Jesus wants us to not lose our faith not only for us but to strengthen or brothers and sisters.

This brings a new dimension to confession. It is obviously a sacrament between us and God but also we should strengthen others to go back to God who have turned their backs on Him.

The Christian Life has never been about me, myself and I; but about God, others, and me (or is it I? I have never been good with grammar). This has been a constant challenge for me the last couple of months. How have I been giving of myself to others the way Jesus wants me to? If I say I have been trying keeping my faith then have I been using it to strengthen my brothers and sisters in Christ? Or have I really just kept the faith to myself? Maybe I should ask Jesus to pray for me to so that He can help me keep my faith to strengthen my brothers and sisters...

Lord, pray that I may keep faith so that I may share it with others!

Pray well!

On Trial

2010-10-16T01:14:00.004-04:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings for today.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“I tell you,
everyone who acknowledges me before others
the Son of Man will acknowledge before the angels of God.
But whoever denies me before others
will be denied before the angels of God."
- Luke 12:8-9

Today's reading goes very well with this one:

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?' Then I will declare to them solemnly, 'I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers.' - Matthew 7:21-23

I don't think our denial of Him is a verbal one but an interior one. It is a denial by our hearts. I remember an old shirt from the 80's that said:

If you were on trial for being a Christian
would they have enough evidence to convict you?

"Your honor look how this person loves! They have given everything for their brethren! You can't tell me this person is not a Christian!"

What beautiful words to hear one day. "My child by the way you lived your life you have not denied Me, now I will not deny you."

Pray well!

You Bear Witness and Give Consent

2010-10-14T10:35:00.002-04:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings today.

Consequently, you bear witness and give consent
to the deeds of your ancestors,
for they killed them and you do the building.
Therefore, the wisdom of God said,
‘I will send to them prophets and Apostles;
some of them they will kill and persecute’
in order that this generation might be charged
with the blood of all the prophets
shed since the foundation of the world,
from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah
who died between the altar and the temple building.
Yes, I tell you, this generation will be charged with their blood!

- Luke11:47-54

Our Lord's words can be harsh at times but they are true nonethless. This line in particular:

‘I will send to them prophets and Apostles;
some of them they will kill and persecute...’

reminds me of abortion. How many saints have we not given the chance to live in our world?

Many times we are very quick to point the finger at God and say, 'Why does God let this happen?' We say the same thing about world hunger, mass murder, genocide, the suffering of children all of which are so difficult to deal with. But do many of us ever ask, "Why am I letting this happen?" Do we try to ease the suffering in the world cause other human beings? Do we believe that we are all members of one human family, and that when one member is hurting ALL the members are hurting?

When my mom gets sick at home, everyone feels it. We try to make her day better and take care of her. We just do it because we love her. We don't sit in a room and say, "Why did God let this happen to her?" or "What can I do, I am not a doctor? How can I help?" So many times just being with the person suffering does wonders. Because we are so connected to God our hearts pour out love on others when we allow it. We open up and become a source of life for the other person so that they realize they are not alone in their suffering.

If this works for my mother, a member of my biological family, why shouldn't it work for a homeless person or someone who is hungry in our human family?

If we are charged with the suffering of others, whether directly or indirectly, then what are we doing to alleviate that suffering and to make amends for the damage we have wrought. Our Lord challenges us today and reminds us that the question isn't, "Where is God in all this?" The Psalms 34:18 tells us,

"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit."

God is right there with suffering. When we are suffering the Lord is right there with us.

But the question that Jesus asks us is,

"Where are you in all of this?"

Pray well!

Woe to you!

2010-10-13T10:00:00.002-04:00

+AMDG+

This has nothing to do with the reading I just thought it was funny.

Here is the reading for today.

Then one of the scholars of the law said to him in reply,
“Teacher, by saying this you are insulting us too.”
And he said, “Woe also to you scholars of the law!
You impose on people burdens hard to carry,
but you yourselves do not lift one finger to touch them.”

-Luke 11:46

Jesus does not pull punches. How many times throughout my day to I do this to people? Sure in this context Jesus is referring to people who knew the Law of Moses or the Torah, and they were experts in that. They knew it so well that few people would question their interpretation except other scholars. They were the experts.

Many times I feel that way. That I am the expert, that I know best. So when I see someone doing something different than the way I would do it, I judge them. Sometimes I would even say, "Why are you doing that? You should do it like this." Its even worse when pride sets in because you might have received training or education in something and you do not help others learn. You just tell them what to do.

"Well when I was at (insert fancy name here) you know we did it like this."

"No, you can do it like that if you want, but I wouldn't."

"I don't know what's wrong with them, they should just do it like this."

"I don't know why that homeless person doesn't just try to find a job already."

"I just don't get my (insert family member here) why do they keep doing that?"

"I don't know why that priest can't just say the mass like this already, its not that difficult."

"Why is the President doing that?! He should be focusing on this instead, then everything would be much better."

Not once do we lift a hand to help. All of this complaining or casting judgments aren't help anyone. If we imagine all this negative "criticism" as actual baggage we have placed on people, how much have we put on them? How much more difficult have we made life for other people to live? Think of all the dirty looks, the teeth sucking, the insults, the name calling, the grumbling and mumbling under our breath ALL because WE are the expert. Because we know best.

Then one of the people who knew best, said to him in reply,
“Teacher, by saying this you are insulting us too.”
And he said, “Woe also to you 'experts'!
You impose on people burdens hard to carry,
but you yourselves do not lift one finger to touch them.”

It is almost like sin has wired us to be negative and despairing. All because WE now have the knowledge of good and evil, of right and wrong, of what is best to do and what others shouldn't do. Try to be a life affirming and life giving person today (you might have to go to confession and mass first) and do it when it is difficult like on the train, with coworkers, with your family, by calling the friend who always pushes your buttons, then you can see how much of an expert we think we truly are.

"Why does he have to stand in front of the subway door like that? Why won't he just..."

Woe to you so called "expert!"

Pray well!

Just put it in the sink

2010-10-12T10:56:00.004-04:00

+AMDG+

The Gospel for today:

After Jesus had spoken,

a Pharisee invited him to dine at his home.
He entered and reclined at table to eat.
The Pharisee was amazed to see
that he did not observe the prescribed washing before the meal.
The Lord said to him, “Oh you Pharisees!
Although you cleanse the outside of the cup and the dish,
inside you are filled with plunder and evil.
You fools!
Did not the maker of the outside also make the inside?
But as to what is within, give alms,
and behold, everything will be clean for you.”

-Luke 11:37-41

Jesus Christ is Lord!

God is really incredible. He calls us to be faithful to Him. I have been praying the Jesus Prayer recently and trying to pray the rosary in the morning as well and I feel a change happening in my life. Simply put, I am willing to give more. I don't know how to describe the change that is taking place inside my heart. It kind of feels like a plant, I have all these different components that are there for the plant to grow; but until I put them together and in the right order nothing will happen. God has given me the water and the light for my growth and the world has given me the manure. And God tells me, "Even though you are given what might seem like waste to everyone else, I will make something beautiful come out of it." For it is God's Love that causes our growth. Even our very conversion is a gift from God.

"Did not the maker of the outside also make the inside?
But as to what is within, give alms,
and behold, everything will be clean for you."

When listening to this Gospel passage the message to me is very simple: Give to others and God will do the rest.

In giving of ourselves, our time, our money, or anything that we hold as valuable to others we begin to make more room for God's grace to change us. God is all about unity, oneness, purity. That is why Our Lord gives us His very Body so we can have all these things. He gives us the Eucharist, His Body, so we can have communion with one another and Jesus. He made us members of the One Church, His Body, so that we can always be one with him even when we don't "feel" connected to Him. He has also given us the sacraments which cleanse us of our sins, to help us have that purity of heart which will see God.

The best part of all of this is that God wants to do this for us and all we have to do is let Him.

"Everything will be clean FOR YOU." All we have to do is give alms, is give of ourselves to others and the Lord will work on us and in us. He will clean us. So the question is will we let God love us enough to clean us? Or a cheesy way of putting it: Will we let God do our dirty dishes for us?

"There's the sink, hop to it Lord! Those dishes ain't gonna do themselves!"

Pray well!

Turn around

2010-08-14T17:47:00.001-04:00

"Turn and be converted from all your crimes, that they may be no cause of guilt for you.
Cast away from you all the crimes you have committed and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit." - Ezekial 18:30-31

I can't believe how many chances the Lord has given me. I also can't believe how many times he has called us back to Him in the Scriptures. The first words of Jesus in Mark's gospel are, "The time for fulfillment has come. Repent and believe in the gospel." God wants us back. He is constantly calling us back to him, constantly binding up wounds and mending our broken heart.

~But do I believe my heart is broken?~

If I think about my life, yeah I am sad. Relationships I have had are no longer there. People I have trusted with my whole heart are goneam I've been hurt, they've been hurt. The world is in a bad state. The Church is in a bad state. There are times when I can feel the sufferings of others and that adds to my own.

I like to tell myself things are fine, but they are not. If I look at my heart I see individual wounds which I don't think its such a big deal. If I'm honest though, as a whole, my heart is broken.

The reality is that my heart is one, its not in parts.

I just had a funny thought. Its kind of like the show House. On the show Dr. Gregory House and his team diagnois patients who have a rare disease. They list all the symptons and end up having tp figure out what the disease is. If I listed the symptons of my wounded heart what would come up?

During the show they try different treatments to rule out different diseases. Some take symptons away and some add new ones. I've done that before, "Maybe I need to change jobs then I'll be happy or maybe if I do this instead of that I will be happy." Needless to say it doesn't work and now I have more wounds then before.

In some episodes they have to dig into a person's past to see if there is something the patient isn't telling the doctors which is causing the disease. Well I have done that as well. There are times I haven't been honest with myself, my spiritual director and most importantly God.

~How do I expect to be healed if I'm not honest about what I have?~

In the end they usually find what's wrong and te patient is fine. I wonder if there's an episode where he can't fix the problem. I haven't seen it yet.

I wonder if there is a link between feelings of guilt and people becoming more susceptible to diseases, depression, and sickness. If there is then the Ancient writers weren't too off the mark.

Lord help me to identify areas where I am guilty so that You may create a clean heart in me!

Pray well!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Wheat Field of Dreams

2010-08-10T03:22:00.006-04:00

+AMDG+

The readings for today.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains just a grain of wheat;
but if it dies, it produces much fruit.
Whoever loves his life loses it,
and whoever hates his life in this world
will preserve it for eternal life.
Whoever serves me must follow me,
and where I am, there also will my servant be.
The Father will honor whoever serves me.”

Lord,

please help me hear these words anew...

Set my heart on fire with your words...

Help me not to love the ways of this world

and

help me to love Your Way, Your Truth and Your Life.

I ask this in Jesus' Holy Name, Amen.

I read these words of Our Lord and I imagine myself as this grain of wheat holding on to the stalk for dear life. I can see all the things which block me from following You... well some of them. Help me to get rid of these. Lord I feel over the last couple of years You are pushing me against THE wall and are asking me to make a choice to follow You. You keep inviting me to be Your servant and I keep telling You I want to be the master of my own life. The world tells us to be masters or our destiny, the world tells us not to submit to anyone or anything; but You ask us to follow You.

Continuing a theme from my last post, we are bombarded constantly with the idea of "following our dreams." Yet, Joseph the Patriarch and Daniel the Prophet tell us something completely different than what the world tells us.

In Genesis, when Pharaoh has a dream no can interpret it except Joseph.

Then they said to him[Pharaoh], "We have had a dream and there is no one to interpret it " Then Joseph said to them, "Do not interpretations belong to God? Tell it to me, please." -Genesis 40:8

And when Nebuchadnezzar had a dream he asked Daniel to interpret it:

The king said to Daniel, whose name was Belteshazzar, "Are you able to make known to me the dream which I have seen and its interpretation?"

Daniel answered before the king and said, "As for the mystery about which the king has inquired, neither wise men, conjurers, magicians nor diviners are able to declare it to the king.

"However, there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries, and He has made known to King Nebuchadnezzar what will take place in the latter days this was your dream and the visions in your mind while on your bed.

"As for you, O king, while on your bed your thoughts turned to what would take place in the future; and He who reveals mysteries has made known to you what will take place.

"But as for me, this mystery has not been revealed to me for any wisdom residing in me more than in any other living man, but for the purpose of making the interpretation known to the king, and that you may understand the thoughts of your mind. - Daniel 2:26-30

Our dreams belong to the Lord. Our dreams only make sense when we bring them to God and if we don't it is just for the glorification of us. Maybe our dreams for self-glory should be the grains that fall and die so we can truly start following God. A Google search of "Follow your dreams," produces 47,000,000 images such as this:

I threw up a little when I saw this.

Nothing to do with God. The word "believe" appears in the Bible over 200 times and not once does God ever tell anyone, "just believe in yourself! You can do it!" God never said that to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, David, Elijah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezra, Nehemiah and Jesus certainly NEVER said that. In John 3:36 he says:

"He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son will not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him."

Lord,

please help me to believe more in myself.

I know I can do it.

Lord help me to follow my dream.

Open all doors so that I may get what I want, when I want.

Amen.

Are you serious?What kind of prayer is that?!?!

But to be honest this is how I pray sometimes... Sure I might try to use pretty words and asks differently but this is what I mean. Lord, I hope to change my ways and sincerely repent. I hope to continue the process of dying to self and I hope to truly serve You. I hope to change in the way You ask of me.

"Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are." - St. Augustine

Thank you St. Augustine!!!

Pray well!

He Tried Again

2010-07-29T23:18:00.004-04:00

+AMDG+

The readings for today.

Today is a great day to pick up where I left off. I have had an interesting couple of months. I was in Canada for a month and now that I am back I am trying to catch my bearings again. I've been reading more than usual, specifically books about this current generation and I have been getting worried. I believe this growing narcissism in our society, coupled with the relativism of our times and the constant state of flux with technology and economics will destroy the West. I know it sounds grim, right?

I prayed today.

Haven't in a while.

The Lord asked me why I worry so much,

I told him I was scared of pain and rejection.

He asked, why I worry so much as if He wasn't taking care of everything.

God is in charge, not me. Thank you God.

Today is a great day to start again and to trust in God again.

The first reading for today:

This word came to Jeremiah from the LORD:
Rise up, be off to the potter's house;
there I will give you my message.
I went down to the potter's house and there he was,
working at the wheel.
Whenever the object of clay which he was making
turned out badly in his hand,
he tried again,
making of the clay another object of whatever sort he pleased.
Then the word of the LORD came to me:
Can I not do to you, house of Israel,
as this potter has done? says the LORD.
Indeed, like clay in the hand of the potter,
so are you in my hand, house of Israel.

The reading today from the prophet Jeremiah reminds us that WE ARE THE CLAY.

WE ARE NOT THE POTTER.

Sorry this is the best noncheezy pic I could find.

I am not the Potter...

This is such a counter cultural idea especially from a society that tells us constantly, "Follow your dreams." "If you want something bad enough then you can achieve anything." And the ever popular line from Scarface:

The World is Yours... WHAT an Unchristian message!

How often we are told to forge our own destiny. We are shown constant examples of people mutually using each other in television shows just to get "ahead of the game." The only problem is that that "head" belongs to someone else.

I am not the Potter...

We are told about how Our Lord Jesus lived an ordinary life. He had the equivalent of a 9-5 job, bills to pay, taxes to give, garbage to throw out, school to attend and in the midst of all of it He didn't runaway. He was not a stranger to sickness, old age and death. What a remarkable contrast to the Buddha who sought to escape ordinary life to seek Enlightenment. He wanted to escape from this world and enter into the Nothingness... this is what he wanted. He wanted to be the potter of his life.

I am not the Potter...

Jesus embraced the ordinary. The Jesuits say, find God in all things. St. Benedict says, my everyone look at the tools for work as if they were the sacred vessels of the altar. He showed how this life can lead to God; he didn't escape from life through his prayer but brought his life to prayer and prayer to life.

I am not the Potter... I am the clay... Mold me... and remold me... and remold me to life!

Pray well!

Farm Livin' is the Life for Me!

2010-05-01T13:15:00.002-04:00

+AMDG+

I am off to Canada!!!! For one month I will be living on a farm, no cell phone, no email, oh yeah.

I really hope to see stars.

Pray for me and pray well!

Scripture I will be using to meditate. I hope you can use it too!

But as it is written: "What eye has not seen and ear has not heard and what has not entered the human heart, what God has prepared for those who love him," this God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit scrutinizes everything, even the depths of God.

-1 Corinthians 2:9-10

Being VS Doing

2010-04-28T18:36:00.012-04:00

+AMDG+

Yesterday was one of those days that caught me off guard.

I woke up early yesterday to head to my parish and my pastor asked me to work with some volunteers who came to help. He reminded me that they were MRDD (Mental Retardation and Developmentally Disabled). So I tried to find something that they could do. We moved some wood to the garage and swept the front and backyard.

What really hit me hard was one of the guys. The other two were both really funny and did most of the work. But the third one was around my age. He couldn't do much at all; he was pretty much adult baby. At first I was feeling very sad while looking at him and I thought, "What can he do?" And the response back was, "Who says he has to do anything? He just is."

I place so much value on what I can do, or how much I contribute, or what I have accomplished as if it really matters. I think what hit me so hard about trying to work with him was that reminded me of how limited I have been recently. Since my depression in November there have been many things I can and cannot do. I would sit in my head and think of all the things I could be doing or all things I should have done and I would stress myself out ad infinitum.

But I do not think you have to be depressed to think this way. Usually the second question we ask someone, after their name, is, "and what do you do?" Most people, when talking about someone they will say, "This Bob and he is a lawyer." But our value is not in what we do it is in who we are.

This is by Jason Quinones. Here is his blog and here is where you can this shirt.

It is a hard lesson to learn because our society tells us the opposite. Our identity is so interconnected with our work that when one does not work they might be looked down upon.

But our faith tells us something different. "We are made in the image and likeness of God." We have value because God has given us value, because we are made to reflect the Divine. According to the philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas, when God says, "I am who am," Aquinas understands that as meaning, "I exists as existence." He talks about how for something to exist is has to have being or it cannot exist. God is being and we share in His being.

We call ourselves human beings. We know intrinsically that we are important because we are human not because of what we can do as a human being. But yet we push forth the lie of "I have value because of what I do." An example of this is when people get paid more money for having more skills than others or people will say how she is a valuable asset to the company, not a valuable person. Few say it verbally but must believe this without knowing. This has begun to effect our children and I myself am a product of this type of mentality. There was a point when a person would learn to become educated and now people learn to get money, to buy things or to feel important. I saw this the other day:

I was blown away by this.

Does no one see how bad this has gotten and is getting? People are becoming more and more Human DOINGS than Human BEINGS.

Do you see yourself as a Human DOING or a Human BEING?

How do you think God sees you?

Pray well!

Epic Smallness

2010-04-26T05:31:00.001-04:00

+AMDG+

Today was an amazing day! The Frassati retreat was amazing, simply amazing. I gave, actually God gave it through me, a presentation on the book "The Wounded Healer" by Henri Nouwen and it was incredible. The conversations and discussions that came out of it were excellent. People testified to Hope in the face of their suffering.

But the best thing about today was going to mass and confession with an amazing priest. I felt I was healed today of something. In talking about my depression this priest told me:

When you feel small it is then

that your prayers are great.

He told me that the prayers of a suffering person who is feeling small are powerful because you try to work through it to pray to God for your intentions.

This amazing insight was brought to you by Fr. Conrad CFR. AMAZING PRIEST!!!! Please pray for him especially as you read this!

No fancy pictures or clever puns but just a simple, unadulterated insight.

Pray well!

Get Up and Make Your Bed!

2010-04-25T00:34:00.008-04:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings for today.

"Aeneas, Jesus Christ heals you. Get up and make your bed." - Acts 9:34

"Louis, Jesus Christ heals you. Get up and make your bed." - Today in prayer.

But do I believe that? Do I truly believe in my heart of hearts that the Lord has healed me? What have I been healed of? I still commit the same similiar sins (but that is of my own free will because I don't want to stop doing them yet). My low self-esteem is still there. I still struggle with anger and impatience, I still struggle with impulsivity and lust. I still struggle with despairing and not putting God first in my life. I still struggle with loneliness and intimacy. So what am I healed from?

"There is no balance here. There is a focus."

Why do you act as if I have done nothing for you? The breathe in your lungs is from me. The light in the universe is from me. Your gifts are mine given to you. I did not give them to you blindly but for others. Bring them to me Louis. You have heard it before, "The very soul you just might save might be your own." When you want to let go of the sin I will help you but for now my grace lessens the damage. I have never failed you and show mercy to yourself as I do.

"Louis, Jesus Christ, my Son heals you.

Get up and go make your bed."

Love

God

Sorry God... I'll get right on that.

The Burning House

2010-04-24T01:24:00.004-04:00

+AMDG+

Haiku of a Wake

I went to a wake today.
It terrified me to no end
I'm scared to lose you.

I think what disturbed me the most about it was the mouth. It looked like it was sown together. I saw the faces those I love, one at a time, while I was kneeling and praying. Death really scares me. One day I will die. People who are so very important to me will pass away and I will not be able to speak to them physically again.

I never really think about it. It is a reality I read about or hear about on the news but never really experience it. Society tells us not to pay attention to it, to live our lives as if we will never die. Society, well at least in the America, wants us to avoid thinking about our afterlife and focus only on the here and now. Many times the afterlife will be portrayed as a joke or a fairytale told to children and if we are educated we will realize how stupid all of that really is.

The story of the Buddha reminds me of this. He was prophesied to be either a great king or a teacher of all people who will break the cycle of rebirth and death. As he was being raised by his stepfather, the king, he was groomed to be his successor. His stepfather gave him all the pleasures he wanted and hid from him all the pains of the world. One day he was taking a ride in a carriage, sees an old man and is shocked by this because he has never seen old age before. The next day he sees a sick person and is stunned with his first experience of sickness. The next day he sees a man dead in the road and realizes the shortness of our lives. After studying with different masters and schools of thought he decides to seek Enlightenment under a Bodhi tree and the rest is history.

Cool pic, huh?

He give this Parable of the Burning House to his disciples:

One day, a fire broke out in the house of a wealthy man who had many children. The wealthy man shouted at his children inside the burning house to flee. But, the children were absorbed in their games and did not heed his warning, though the house was being consumed by flames.

Then, the wealthy man devised a practical way to lure the children from the burning house. Knowing that the children were fond of interesting playthings, he called out to them, "Listen! Outside the gate are the carts that you have always wanted: carts pulled by goats, carts pulled by deer, and carts pulled by oxen. Why don't you come out and play with them?" The wealthy man knew that these things would be irresistible to his children.

The children, eager to play with these new toys rushed out of the house but, instead of the carts that he had promised, the father gave them a cart much better than any he has described - a cart draped with precious stones and pulled by white bullocks. The important thing being that the children were saved from the dangers of the house on fire.

Our life is that Burning House which will eventually collapse and be left to nothing. It is a scary thought, at least for me. I think of the man with the sealed lips... I was hit with the reality that those lips will not say the words, "I love you," anymore. I think that is what really scared me.

But this is Easter.

The season of the Resurrection when Life conquered death. Jesus comes to truly break us from death not by making us nothing; but by affirming that our life is worth something with His death. He conquered death! That is insane! Lord help me to realize with this means more and more everyday.

Pray well,
Louis

I'm Hungry and Thirsty!!!!!

2010-04-20T16:15:00.004-04:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings for today.

"Jesus said to them, 'I am the Bread of Life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst." -John 6:35

I also heard, "and you will always have a purpose."

What is it I really hunger for? What is it I really thirst for? Is it companionship, success, glory, respect, pleasure, not to be alone anymore? These are all very true for me but what I really hunger for is connectedness.

I want to belong somewhere, I want to be a part of something. Not just something I go to once and a while, but a place I can be at. I want to feel connected to God... I have before. I feel I have had moments of being connected to God. Moments where I have been so joyfull (this spelling is done one purpose). I long for that again, that feeling of being loved and knowing everything will work out. Longing for knowing that my Heavenly Father is going to take care of me.

Then there are moments when I do not feel connected to anything or anyone at all. No particular person, no ideology, no family, no friends and certainly not God. Nothing. But I have never not felt connected from the Church. I think because deep down it is me. At the very core of my being is the Church. Maybe that is why I always feel at home in the Church. It has always been familiar and ever new. There is always something different and something new. There is always something I have missed or now I see with new eyes.

What I really thirst for is purpose. I want to know there is a point to all of this. I want to know my life matters. I want to know my pain is not useless. I want to know what I am meant fir specifically... but I don't think that might be possible. I am not meant for just one thing. I am meant for so much more. Nothing in this world happens in a vacuum. Even vacuums don't happen in vacuums happen in something. Why do I think my life is different? Maybe I am struggling with the vastness of my purpose.

Today we read about St. Stephen.

Pretty much every single Christian who has ever lived has heard of/been affected by/been effected by/been inspired by St. Stephen. Right now there are over a billion Christians in the world and over the last 2,000 years, how many have there been? His death even inspired the Apostles. But time does not end right now (it will go on for God knows how long) how many more people will be influenced by him? I wondered if he spent most of his time thinking of what to do with his life or did he spend his life living? My purpose... what is my purpose... to know, love and serve God.

I really need to stop wasting my time worrying about what to do and actually go and do something.

Pray well!

More Than These?

2010-04-19T10:27:00.002-04:00

+AMDG+

Here is the reading for today.

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter,

“Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”
Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.” - John 21:15

This scene in John's Gospel is so beautiful. "Do you love me more than these?" I have heard this Gospel so many times, but today I felt like I heard something new. When I heard these words at mass yesterday I had this image of the three people I love the most come into my mind. It was as if God was asking me:

"Do you love me more than these people?"

I was taken aback because I never thought of this before. I guess I always thought this meant things. Like I love my TV and my PS3 (which I do).

"Whose the best TV in the world? You are. Yes you are." (smooching)

But I keep thinking, do I love God more than these people. These are the ones who have helped bring me to God. The other day I remember thinking how these people have my heart; but is the Lord in my heart? There are days when I feel that way and days when I don't. If I love God, do I give myself to him as I do with other people?

How does one give themselves to God? How do I give myself to others? I feel like that negative voice takes over so much that it creates a downward spiral of self loathing and then I don't feel like I have anything to give to anyone.

I can only explain it as if someone binded me up and threw me into a large cave with a deafening echo. There is no light and every sound is heard. So when negative thoughts occur it is as if the echoes create infinite echoes. I have to remind myself this is not true. I do not feel this way I just believe I do. And since I can only hear myself I don't think about others. I feel like a burden to other people many times. And then when that happens I don't understand why people love me. Then their love becomes painful. It literally hurts me.

"But Louis son of Louis, do you love me?"

Why is it so difficult to accept love? I have to remember that I am loved because when I don't I cannot love another. It seems much easier to love a person who is physically in front of me, than the invisible God. But my God became incarnate. He became a physical person to show me he loves me. So do I love him back?

Jesus meets me where I am at. He comes down to my level. This can only be real if I know and accept what level I am at. So why do I keep denying what level I am at?

Pray well.

Searcher of Heart and Soul

2010-03-21T00:47:00.001-04:00

+AMDG+

So today I sent an email.

I know that doesn't sound like a big deal because of how many emails are sent a day but this one has a prayer attached to it.

The Psalms tells us that Our Lord searches our hearts and soul.

But why is my heart so hidden that is don't even know what it is hiding. I spend so much time wondering what is in my heart that it sadens me. It took the flipping of a coin to help me realize what is my desire.

"And Louis casted lots for his heart."

For my heart... How often do I do things for or even from my heart? I am not talking about just eating better but I am talking about what feeds my soul. I sometimes focus on my wounds so much I forget how well the other parts are doing. I believe I am so used to this pain that I don't even want to get better!

"When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be well?""
- John 5:6

When I heard this I remember thinking, "well duh! Who wouldn't want to be healed?" Well if that is the case then why don't I do things that help me be well.

So I try to heal myself. And try again. And again. And I get angry because I can't heal myself. And therein lies the problem. I cannot heal myself.

What a profound reality!

I need a healer! I always think I need God when I can't do something, but it is because of God that I can do anything. But healing is like growing, I can only contribute to an environment for those events to occur. And God does the growing. I need a Savior because I can't save myself.

Lord help me to accept you as my Savior because I cannot save myself at all! I am the one causing my problems as it is!

Pray well!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Still Playing Catch UP! Sorry!

2010-03-13T17:08:00.000-05:00

+AMDG+

I am playing catch up. I haven't been writing everyday and I apologize for that. I want to recommit to my Lenten Observance.

The other day in prayer I felt that the Lord invited me to go deeper.

It was a scary moment. I said OK Lord I trust you.

And it is still scary. I feel like I have been at similar points like this before in November and during other parts of my life. Before I have decided to runaway, other points I have tried to face it a little at a time. I am now trying to face it full on and asking God to give the courage to convert me to Him.

Yesterday was a difficult day because I had trouble getting out of the house. Scenes from November came back to me and I wasn't sure what to do. I kept telling myself that it wasn't happening. After about an hour of that I realized it was like November again.

The only way I can describe it is like when St. Ignatius had his conversion. Not so much the deep giving my life over part but the physical reality and events of the situation. When Ignatius was hit with a cannonball in leg during a battle he was taken to a doctor. They set his leg and bone in place and it wasn't set properly. He didn't like the way the bone was set because it made his leg look weird in boots so he asked the to reset it twice!

All this before anestesia!

My wounds are healing but something keeps going wrong and they have to opened again to heal properly. I know the Lord is healing me and I was hoping that it would be more like an instant heal. But Our Lord, The Great Physician, is more like a physical therapist. He heals my broken arm and teaches me how to use it again. The process maybe be painful but it is worth it. He heals my wounds caused by sins and the damage other people have done to my life and teaches me how to let go of my old ways so I may be human again. I know the Lord can heal me instantly and maybe that is for me and maybe it is not. All I do know is that this is where God and I are at. A healing process so I can route out any signs of sin and its effect. The Lord teaches me how to live my life by the way He lived His.

All of the readings this week reflected this. The God wants us to make a decision and not be on the spiritual fence. I think He wants us to be aware that we are making this decision every moment. It is not something that just occurs once and a while but that we prepare ourselves for the moments when we are needed to stand up for Him and others. He wants our hearts! He wants to let us know that everything will be great if we trust Him.

My prayer life has been interesting recently. Every time I talk to God about the challenging events going on in my life he says to me:

Yes but do you trust Me?

I am trying to Lord but I keep holding myself back. Help me to get rid of what is stopping me from knowing You.

Are you sure Louis?

Yes Lord.

OK. Let's go deeper...

The Lord is my Shepherd.

The Story is NOT About us

2010-03-07T04:01:00.003-05:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings for 3/6/10.

I always find it fascinating how self-centered I can be. I think that if most things are not directly about me then they are indirectly about me. I can be having a conversation with someone and only talk about myself and my experience. I always think about this when I read the parable of the Prodigal Son.

Rembrandt's The Return of The Prodigal Son,

I highly recommend the book:

The Return of The Prodigal Son by: Henri Nouwen.

It is excellent!

I was reading this and I took some notes on the Gospel and I would like to share them with you.

A reading from the Gospel according to St. Luke.

Tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to listen to Jesus,
but the Pharisees and scribes began to complain, saying,

(The Pharisees were very concerned with legalistic purity. They wanted the rules in Leviticus, which were meant for the Levites and priest, to be applied to everyone. They asserted their Jewish identity by want to separate completely from Gentiles. Tax collectors worked with and for those very same Gentiles; and the sinners were ritually impure people. They did not like Jesus for this at all!)

“This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
So to them Jesus addressed this parable.
“A man had two sons, and the younger son said to his father,
‘Father, give me the share of your estate that should come to me.’

(At the time for a son to ask for his inheritance it meant that he didn't if his father lived or died. The younger son just wanted the money and if anything preferred the father to die already so he could get the money.)

So the father divided the property between them.
After a few days, the younger son collected all his belongings
and set off to a distant country
where he squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation.

(He acted on impulse and did not plan well at all. He wasted his money by misuse.)

When he had freely spent everything, (This was some SERIOUS partying!)
a severe famine struck that country,
and he found himself in dire need.
So he hired himself out to one of the local citizens
who sent him to his farm to tend the swine.
And he longed to eat his fill of the pods on which the swine fed,
but nobody gave him any.

(Since he is talking to Jews, we can pretty much be sure that this family was Jewish. For this younger son to hire himself out to local citizens, or Gentiles, to take care of the pigs, which were animals that were NOT kosher, and more than likely they would also make him work on the Sabbath. To the Pharisees. whom he was addressing, this is one of the worse things that could happen to a person; it would be better to be dead.)

Coming to his senses he thought,
‘How many of my father’s hired workers
have more than enough food to eat,
but here am I, dying from hunger.
I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him,
“Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.
I no longer deserve to be called your son;
treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers.”’

(He wasn't actually sorry. He was going to tell his father what he thought his father wanted to hear. He was not sincere because he just wanted to get out of his situation and not necessarily make amends with his father. You can almost hear him practicing his speech over and over again as he walked home.)

So he got up and went back to his father.
While he was still a long way off,
his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion.
He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.

(His father was waiting for him and RAN to his son. Instead of hating his son for wanting him dead, he RAN to his son, EMBRACED him and KISSED him. When was the last time when you ran, embraced, and kissed someone who hurt and wounded you in the worst way possible? I can tell you when was mine. NEVER. I can't even imagine loving like that. I know I am not near that but I would like to be at a point in my life.)

His son said to him,
‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you;
I no longer deserve to be called your son.’
But his father ordered his servants,
‘Quickly, bring the finest robe and put it on him;
put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.
Take the fattened calf and slaughter it.
Then let us celebrate with a feast,
because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again;
he was lost, and has been found.’
Then the celebration began.

(His dad really didn't care what his son had to say. The son didn't have to say anything at all. The father was just happy to see him. How many times when someone hurts me do I expect this big apology and to see them truly sorry for what they did. Or least to have seen them suffer something for the wrong they did. In our own lives, "we say what goes around comes around." If the father were to say, "Since I am dead to you, you are dead to me." And everyone would have said that would have been perfectly fine and justifiable. But that is not what the father did.)

Now the older son had been out in the field
and, on his way back, as he neared the house,
he heard the sound of music and dancing.
He called one of the servants and asked what this might mean.
The servant said to him,
‘Your brother has returned
and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf
because he has him back safe and sound.’
He became angry,
and when he refused to enter the house,
his father came out and pleaded with him.
He said to his father in reply,
‘Look, all these years I served you
and not once did I disobey your orders;
yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends.
But when your son returns
who swallowed up your property with prostitutes,
for him you slaughter the fattened calf.’

(Wow, how long was this older brother holding this in for? Another thing that was interesting is that HE became angry, HE refused to enter the house and the father had to beg HIM to come inside and celebrate.' Our own anger and the things we cannot let go of only prevent us from enjoying life. Sometimes we choose to try to hurt people by withdrawing our presence from them. I do not think if the father also gave him a fatted calf everything would be better. The older son says something interesting in that when he accuses his brother he says, "YOUR son," not "MY brother." He wants to disassociate himself from his family. Also he accuse his brother of wasting it on prostitutes, all we know in the parable is that he 'dissipated' it. He said this to hurt his whom he felt hurt him.)

He said to him,
‘My son, you are here with me always;
everything I have is yours.
But now we must celebrate and rejoice,
because your brother was dead and has come to life again;
he was lost and has been found.’“

Wow this guys is 2 for 2! I think if this was me I would have done one of two things; either tell the older son, you are wrong and do what you'd like but I am celebrating his return, stay out here if you want. Or I would have said, you know you are right, what was I thinking, call your friends over and celebrate all your years of dedication to me and let's send your brother away. But the father does not do any of those and loves them both equally. What a tremendous heart!

This story reminds me of me being self-centered, simply because of the title of the story. We call it, "The Return of the Prodigal Sso," BUT THE STORY IS NOT ABOUT THE SON!!! It is about the Father and His Love. I think it should be called "The Parable of the Forgiving Father," or, "The Loving Father." But we think the story is about us. The story isn't called "The Indignant Son," who is also a main character in the story but we would rather see ourselves as the Son who returns.

I just thought these are some interesting reflections similar to how Henri Nouwen calls us to examine each character in the story and see which one are we in different times in our life.

PS. How does the story end? Does the older brother come to the party?

It does not say. Jesus is using a specific story telling device which allows the reader to enter the story and finish it for themselves. We hope we choose to enter the party but God still respect our freedom if we don't.)

Pray well!

Remember the Marvels the Lord has Done!

2010-03-06T12:37:00.006-05:00

+AMDG+

Look at the Marvels the Lord has done fo' us!

Here are the readings for 3/5/10.

Today I was reading and praying on the readings and this line stood out.

Remember the marvels the Lord has done.

I am not sure why it is but, I know I don't have as much wonder as I should. I think I am so used to hearing things explained away that I forget that THE FACT that it exists, is amazing! The following pictures hopefully will help me explain this.

The Aura Borealis

Scientists tells us that this is just because of Nitrogen Ions regaining an electron and the photons released from that interact with the solar wins that are drawn to Earth because of it's magnetic field due to all the iron in the Earth.

Oh that's it? That not a big deal... Wait a second. Look at what is happening! All these little events and occurrences are happening that we had no idea of and cannot see, but my God, look at the effects! How can you not think that is beautiful! Because so many times if we can explain something then it loses its mystery and attraction. But its ironic that when we find a Mystery we cannot explain, we ignore it and chose not to believe it.

A Newborn Child

I think we sometimes forget, at least I do, that we came from one single cell. Let me say that again with some more emphasis:

I CAME FROM ONE SINGLE CELL

YOU CAME FROM ONE SINGLE CELL

Do you know how many cells are in the human body? Don't bother because NO ONE does!

There is no possible way to calculate it. Different Scientist estimate between ten trillion and one hundred trillion cells. Since I am a visual person I will write that out:

10,000,000,000,000 to 100,000,000,000,000

There are more cells ONE human body than scientists estimate are stars in the universe. Woah. AND THAT IS JUST IN ONE PERSON. Now imagine all the atom and sub atomic particles that make up every THING in the universe. Mind boggling... Think about that next time you look in the mirror or see a new born child.

Prayer

We have a chance to connect with the Divine...

We can speak to Infinity and Eternity...

And by the way, not getting what you want is not a reason to think prayer isn't anything real. That is called selfishness. That is like saying my parents don't love me because they won't buy me a Life-Size Replica of Captain America's Shield; as if the food and support and LIFE they give me is not enough.

You love me don't you? You will buy it for me right?!?!?

We can speak to God and, if we know how to listen to Him, can hear Him speaking back. I am sometimes so blown away by the fact that we can speak to God I just stop thinking; I think that is what is known as awe.

There are things I have done to others that should have ended any possible friendship I could have had with this person and vice versa. But we move on. We grow from it and grow together because of it. We have the ability, which can sometimes seem VERY irrational, to continue loving a person no matter what. I think most people know of stories in their families and their friends where forgiveness should not have been an option but it was and that made all the difference.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

- Robert Frost

What if this was about forgiveness in our life? Even in our own culture and life we say "Take the high road." Forgiveness is that high road.

Remember the marvels the Lord has done for us.

This is a command not a suggestion. It wasn't written as:

Hey it would be nice if you could remember the marvels the Lord has done for you, but if you don't, that is cool too...

What marvels has God done in my own life? It is probably as numerous as the number of cells in my body...

Remember the marvels the Lord has done for you!!!

Pray well!

You Gonna Eat That?

2010-03-05T19:54:00.004-05:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings for 3/4/10.

I have been struggling with this reading for the last couple of days. I thought I had this great post all ready to type up. But then something happened...

My spiritual director.

(This is what he look like when I tell him I haven't been praying)

He said sometimes when he is praying with the readings, he has to be careful that he listens to what God has to say to him and not just what would be a good homily. He said that it is a problem that priest face because some of them give homilies everyday. And for myself I found that, at least, with today's reading I was doing that.

I had this great idea on how I would talk about the seriousness of following God because of the chasm between heaven and hell and ... Then I was like wait a minute! But what is God telling me.

So I took it right back to prayer and when I read it again this part stood out the most.

“There was a rich man who dressed in purple garments and fine linen
and dined sumptuously each day.
And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores,
who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps
that fell from the rich man’s table.

Dogs even used to come and lick his sores

- Luke 16:19-21

And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out,

"Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon."

But he did not say a word in answer to her.

His disciples came and asked him, "Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us."

He said in reply, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."

But the woman came and did him homage, saying, "Lord, help me."

He said in reply,

"It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs."

She said,

"Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters."

Then Jesus said to her in reply, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed from that hour.

Though this picture is a obviously a joke, I wonder if the person who drew this read this passage. I never expected a cartoon to help me understand the Gospel better except for this one.

Anime called Trigun. Gospel all over the place.

I like this reading because I think it goes so well with the last line in today's reading. After Lazarus and the rich man die, Lazarus goes to the bosom of Abraham and the rich man goes to hell. The rich man asks Abraham:

‘Then I beg you, father, send him[Lazarus]

to my father’s house,
for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them,
lest they too come to this place of torment.’
But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.’
He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham,
but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’
Then Abraham said,
‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets,
neither will they be persuaded
if someone should rise from the dead.’

-Luke 16:27-31

God gave the Israelites the Torah and sent them His Only Son to bring them back to God. They are given Moses and the prophets that pointed to the very actions that Jesus is doing yet they chose not to believe. And ironically Abraham says that even if someone should rise from the dead they still wouldn't believe and that is exactly what happened.

At the Bible Study that I go to, I felt it was so perfect that I heard this reading because I am studying Moses and the prophets now. It has helped my faith incredibly. God has broken open the Scriptures to me and I feel like I am at a spiritual banquet. I know this sounds all 'religious' but there is no other way to explain it. God is just that good.

He reminds me how important studying his word is to get to know the Word. Sometimes Providence, which is God's plan for the universe, is just so incredible. Here is what I mean:

1) God inspired St. Luke to put this story in the Gospel. Out of all the stories he could have put. He put this one in his Gospel. Over 1900 years ago!

2) A Church council decided that this book was Divinely inspired and kept it as one of the Four Canonical Gospels. Over 1700 years ago.

3) From now until then certain events had to happen:

A Liturgical calendar was established and approved.

People prayed over what readings went with that day during that season in that year.

It was revised and agreed upon.

All this happened over the course of 1700 years.

Flash forward to the 1970's when my parents met, who met at a specific place and time.

I was born, mind you my mom first had a miscarriage so I would have been her second son.

I grew up in and out of the Church but stayed close.

I randomly went to a pizza and met people from Frassati who happen to have a Bible study on THURSDAYS, who just happen to be studying the Old Testament.

I have spent this Lent praying over the readings and trying to pay attention line by line.

And the day I go to the Bible Study, I just happen to hear the importance of listening to Moses and the Prophets because many will not chose salvation even if someone rises from the dead. By hearing this my faith deepens.

wow

Mind you this is not including everyone else's lives who were all involved in all of this.

If any of these events were off at all this would not have happened. AND THESE ARE JUST THE SCRAPS FROM THE TABLE! But Jesus calls us to eat the food that was not only intended for Israel but for all people. He lifts us up to the altar to eat of His very Body and Blood, His very Life itself, that was broken because of us and for us.

yeah that is crazy...

Thank you Lord for ... well.. everything!

I think this songs sums it all up.

Pray well!

My Life is in Your Hands

2010-03-03T23:45:00.004-05:00

+AMDG+

The Big Lebowski: They did not receive the money! Her life was in your hands!

Brandt: This is our concern, Dude

Here are today's reading:

So to be honest, I read the wrong readings for today lol.

I prayed over the readings for tomorrow. BUT when I looked over the readings for today, the Psalm struck me.

"But as for me, I trust in you, Lord,

I say: "You are my God.

My life is in your hands, deliver me,

from the hands of those who hate me.

Let your face shine on your servant.

Save me in your love."

- Psalm 31:15-17

What an amazing image! My LIFE is in YOUR hands. And here comes the question you knew I was going to ask: But do we really believe that?"

Do I really think that God cares for me that intimately?

I feel like this is such a difficult problem for me. How do I know that the invisible God loves me?

For me it comes down to the fact that He became incarnate. The Incarnation is such an amazing event in history.

There was an understanding in Greek Philosophy that was running rampant due logical study. If Eternity and Time are completely separate, then how can we communicate with the Divine at all? For many Greeks they started to abandon their religious ways and embraced philosophy. When the Roman Empire took over, they adopted many different aspects of the Greek's culture especially their pagan gods which the Romans just basically renamed. They renamed them after the planets in our solar system.

I am mentioning this because during Jesus' time they were under Roman rule. The Greek philosophical system had pretty much believed in a Watchmaker Creator. A god who created the world and does not play any part in it at all. And they would be right... unless God reveals himself to humanity.

Enter stage right: Judaism claiming to the Gentiles that Yaweh, the God of gods, who cares for them like a spouse, who looks after them like a parent, who protects them like a king and who guides them like a shepherd, choose them as His very own people; His firstborn to all the nations. Then comes Jesus, the awaited Messiah of the Jewish people, the Chosen one of the chosen People. He reveals God's Triune nature and that He is the Second person in the Trinity. He who became incarnate, and is named Jesus (Hebrew for 'God saves') , has shown the world that God really does care for us intimately. Because of Jesus entering into human existence, He gave the invisible God a face.

When we unite our prayers to His prayers and thanksgiving to Father, humanity finally had a way to speak and know God. His thanksgiving is His obedience and trust in God, which is seen through his Crucifixion and Resurrection, that shows us that God does not abandon us. We can know God only when we unite ourselves to Jesus. Through prayer and communion with Jesus we can know God personally; without Him it just a bunch of ideas of what God might be like. They might sound like nice ideas, like a generic Lover, but unless it is connected to a person who reveals themselves in human history it just stays a nice idea. Since Jesus Ascended into heaven, Time has now entered into Eternity and the Eucharist is Eternity present in Time. This uniting of heaven and earth is because of the union of Christ, the Bridegroom, to His bride, the Church.

"...And the two of them become one body."

- Genesis 2:24

The Church united mystically to Jesus exists in both Eternity and Time, the link between heaven and earth.

In the Catechism of the Catholic Church paragraph 795, it states:

Christ and his Church thus together make up the "whole Christ" (Christus totus). The Church is one with Christ. The saints are acutely aware of this unity:

Let us rejoice then and give thanks that we have become not only Christians, but Christ himself. Do you understand and grasp, brethren, God's grace toward us? Marvel and rejoice: we have become Christ. For if he is the head, we are the members; he and we together are the whole man. . . . The fullness of Christ then is the head and the members. But what does "head and members" mean? Christ and the Church. - St. Augustine

Our redeemer has shown himself to be one person with the holy Church whom he has taken to himself. - Pope Gregory the Great

Head and members form as it were one and the same mystical person. - St. Thomas Aquinas

A reply of St. Joan of Arc to her judges sums up the faith of the holy doctors and the good sense of the believer: "About Jesus Christ and the Church, I simply know they're just one thing, and we shouldn't complicate the matter." - St. Joan of Arc

So why do I mention this? Because I need to know that the Church is where its at!

Because Jesus became Incarnate, reveals to us that there is relationship in God, He allows us to share in His relationship with the Father and the Spirit.

I need to know, as Pope Benedict says that, "Christian Prayer is addressed to a God who hears and listens." - The Feast of Faith page 31

I need to know that my life IS in His hands and IF my life is NOT in His hands then there really is no point; and this is all a random waste of time.

Psalm 69:2-4

"Save me, God, for the waters have reached my neck.

I have sunk into the mire of the deep, where there is no foothold.

I have gone down to the watery depths;

the flood overwhelms me.

I am weary with crying out;

my throat is parched.

My eyes have failed,

looking for my God."

Is my life in Your hands Lord? Or will I drown?

"But as for me, I trust in you, Lord,

I say: "You are my God.

My life is in your hands, deliver me,

from the hands of those who hate me.

Let your face shine on your servant.

Save me in your love."

- Psalm 31:15-17

A modern version of this picture would look like this from this website: Failblog.org

Our life is in Your hands Lord, literally!

Pray well!

My Yolk is Easy...

2010-03-02T23:52:00.004-05:00

+AMDG+

My yolk is easy and my cholesterol is light. - Matthew 11:30?

I have a confession to make.

I know this is not the place to air these things out but I need to be free of this already.

I... I... I did... I did not grow up on a farm.

THERE I SAID IT!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOO! That feels much better. Up until I was 20 I had no idea what a yoke was. And to be honest I really thought it was YOLK not YOKE. So I thought Jesus' yolk being easy made no sense. Maybe it was one of those mystical things and like the Psalmist said, "I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me." Psalm 131:1

So I would just go back home to watch a Cartoon show called Recess and never really think about it:

Side note: I would go late to school every morning in high school to watch this. No joke EVERY morning. At the end of my senior year they wanted to make me go to summer school for lateness. HAHA! It didn't happen but it would have been worth it.

So why do I mention this? You will see in a couple of paragraphs.

Here are the readings for today.

This is part of Matthew's Gospel for today.

“The scribes and the Pharisees
have taken their seat on the chair of Moses.
Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you,
but do not follow their example.
For they preach but they do not practice.
They tie up heavy burdens hard to carry
and lay them on people’s shoulders,
but they will not lift a finger to move them."

- Matthew 23:2-4

Many of us have baggage. I think there are things that we have done, or things that have been done to us that we feel we cannot let go of. Maybe it is a parent who wasn't encouraging, or an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend, or a friend's betrayal, that wounds many of us deeply and still effects us to this day. I know for me sometimes I feel that moving away, or even a change of environment would help and it can; but the inescapable fact is that you still bring you along where ever you go. You still have to face whatever your issues are especially if you want to live a more free life.

This is the small one. I've got a couple more in the car.

So how did I get to this topic from those readings? Every time I hear "burden" I think of Matthew 11:28-30.

"Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden light."

This has always been an enigmatic phrase for me, especially since almost into my 20's, as I said, I had no idea what this meant. After I learned that this was a yoke:

A yoke is used to tie to oxen together to have them pull a cart. OOHHHHH!!! This made much more sense when I saw a picture of it:

In bringing this to prayer this is what came up. A yoke is used to connect to oxen to cart to have them pull something. Jesus invites us to share our journey with Him and His journey with us. He invites us to walk with Him. Micah 6:8 is echoed here,

"This is what God asks of you:

only this, to act justly,

to love tenderly

and to walk humbly with your God."

His yoke is light because being in relationship with Him we have the grace to keep moving. The grace is what makes our life livable. His burden is light because the cross is lighter than our sins. Even though the cross is heavy and we will die because of it; we will also rise from the dead because of it. The burden of sin is heavier and crushes us to death. Without Jesus we cannot lift that burden and have, in a sense, put a huge boulder on our coffin because we chose not to have a relationship with God for whatever reason. We become like Sisyphus.

Sisyphus was a notorious trickster in Greek mythology who was punished by the gods for his deceit. He was punished to push a rock up hill and whenever he would get close to the top, the rock would roll back down. He would have to keep pushing it uphill and lather, rinse and repeat.

The weight of sin.

Only Jesus is strong enough to get rid of our sinful burden so that we may walk with him. Even the language we use everyday points to how our sin, or bad and horrible acts we commit, effect us.

"I feel so weighed down..."

"I just have to get this off my chest..."

And when we confess and are forgiven we say,

"I feel like a weight has been lifted off me..."

"I feel like I can breathe again..."

"Wow, what a relief that was. I feel so relieved."

The word relieve come from Latin. The prefix "re" is an intensive prefix and "levare" means "to lift up, to lighten." "Levis" mean "not heavy" and that is where get our word levity from. Jesus lightens our heavy burden of sin! By taking our sins upon Him, He relieves us of ours so that we can walk with him.

Another meaning of a yoke, was a portable pillory for slaves. It was used to allow slaves to keep walking but they couldn't escape. Like how we still are alive with our sinful burdens but we never really live until they are broken.

"When Christ freed us, he meant us to remain free.

Stand firm, therefore and do not submit to

the yoke of slavery."

- Galatians 5:1

We can be freed of our burdens by facing them, addressing them and asking Christ to enter into our past and present wound. Also the Lord tells us that He requires mercy not sacrifice, we need to build up one another not bring each other down. For then Christ will condemn us with the very same words that he used for the Pharisees.

For you preach but you do not practice.
You tie up heavy burdens hard to carry
and lay them on people’s shoulders,
but you will not lift a finger to move them.

When a man gets ordained to the Diaconate (becomes a Deacon), he is handed the Book of the Gospels and is told this prayer:

Believe what you read.

Teach what you believe.

Practice what you teach.

Will I take up the cross with Christ? Will I help others with their burdens? Will I be a person who helps to heal or continues to harm those in "my way"?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words:

Now if I can just live this out. I am already stubborn as one.

Pray well!

Great and Awesome

2010-03-01T23:25:00.005-05:00

+AMDG+

Not true, I was born with it.

Here are today's readings.

"Lord, great and awesome God," - Daniel 9:4

I think today is a day for me to do something I don't usually do. Make a list of things I am thankful to God for. Things, or people or events which make me realize how awesome God is.

Here is my list:

1) Bacon

2) Lazy sweat pants

3) Sunsets

4) My brother

5) The Eucharist

6) Confession

7) Pope Benedict's writings

8) LOST

9) Healing

10) Love between friends and families

Our God is an Awesome God! But do we see Him as such or just a big burden? Do we see all of his gifts as blessings and see His love for his in them? Are we at least open to God or at least open to being open to God? Lord open me more and more to You!

Show me your Awesomeness daily!

Pray well!

The Wrestler

2010-02-28T23:57:00.000-05:00

+AMDG+

Here are today's reading for the Second Sunday in Lent.

St. Ignatius of Loyola tells us that when we do Lectio Divina, or Sacred Reading, to see what stands out to us and to sit with that. As I was reading and praying over the readings the Psalm just popped out at me. I usually focus on the Second reading and the Gospel, but this week the Psalms just punched me in the face.

Psalm 27:1

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom do I fear?

The LORD is my life's refuge; of whom am I afraid?"

But do I believe this? Do I live my life with my only fear being the fear of the Lord? To be honest... not really.

Fear is paralyzing. It stops us from living properly. It can stop us from pushing forward and growing. Almost all fears, except irrational fears, are based on a lack of knowledge. When we have fears we become scared. I am scared of the dark because I don't know what is in the dark. I am scared of failure because I don't know what people will think about me after. I am scared to quit my job and pursue my dream because I don't know if it will actually happen. I am scared of being happy because I don't know what it is like to stop chasing happiness and actually be happy. I am scared to trust God because I don't know where my life will go.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom do I fear?

The LORD is my life's refuge; of whom am I afraid?"

I have heard these words before, but they stuck out today. What do I fear? What do I always have to work up the courage to face? This is something I never think about. Obviously because it frightens me.

For example I am scared of heights. I do not spend my time going on top of buildings, or thinking about the view from up top. It is not something I dwell on. But one of the fears that I have, I realized while watching this movie.

Love. Pain. Glory.

The Wrestler is an amazing movie. I loved it. I watched it when I was depressed and in the dark. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. After watching this I started listening to Hurt by: Johnny Cash. Not fun when your sad lol.

In a nut shell this movie is about a wrestler named Randy "The Ram" Robinson, who popularity peaked in the 80's. Twenty years later he is still wrestling, living in a trailer filled with pictures of glory days. Trying to find any work possible he decides to enter into a hardcore match which the audience watches in full gory detail. He suffers a heart attack and being told that he should not wrestle anymore, he tries to reevaluate his life. Tries to reconnect with his daughter, find love and get a normal job.

This is an amazing movie which at its core is about addiction. His adrenaline rush from his fans and his old lifestyle is something he just cannot shake. After a series of bad events he returns to wrestling. Cassidy, a stripper whom Randy is trying to court, (Courting a stripper... I don't think I ever expected to use those words together) approaches him and asks him not to wrestle. This is their dialogue:

Randy: What are you doing here?

Cassidy: What the (Smurf) are you doing here?

Randy: I'm doing my thing I'm going to work.

Cassidy: But, your heart...

Randy: My heart is still ticking

Cassidy: Yeah but the doctor said...

Randy: Listen I know what I'm doing, the only place I get hurt is out there. (point away from the wrestling ring) The world don't give a (Smurf) about me.

Cassidy: I'm here, I'm really here. What do you call that?

(Randy's theme music plays Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N Roses)

I won't ruin the movie for you! Go see it!

So why do I mention this? Obviously to avoid talking about my fears duh!

When the movie ends, the song The Wrestler By: Bruce Springsteen, plays:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRUEKJIcvbo&feature=related

I hope you listen to the song. Here are some of the lyrics:

"Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?
If you've ever seen a one trick pony then you've seen me
Have you ever seen a one-legged dog making its way down the street?
If you've ever seen a one-legged dog then you've seen me

Then you've seen me, I come and stand at every door
Then you've seen me, I always leave with less than I had before
Then you've seen me, bet I can make you smile when the blood, it hits the floor
Tell me, friend, can you ask for anything more?
Tell me can you ask for anything more?

Have you ever seen a scarecrow filled with nothing but dust and wheat?
If you've ever seen that scarecrow then you've seen me..."

This is my fear: That I am not original, that all I will do is proclaim the same message over and over again. I am scared that, if I ever have a hit, I will be some one hit wonder. I am scared that I won't be taken seriously. I am scared that I won't make an impact on people. I am scared that my life won't really matter.

I think I am scared because I don't trust that God will work through me and I will waste all the gifts and talents He has given me. I am scared that when I stand before Him, He will say, "Louis, I gave you so much, why did you do so little?"

I really think my fear is the polar opposite of my deepest desire.

January 2nd is the Feast day of St. Basil the Great and St. Gregory Nazianzen, they were both Bishops and Doctors of the Church. There is a reading on their feast day is from St. Gregory and he is talking about their friendship. He says:

"Different men have different names, which they owe to their parents or to themselves, that is their own pursuits and achievements. But our great pursuit, the great name we wanted, was to be Christians, to be called Christians. "

I have this image of the Last Judgement in my mind. I will be waiting in line to be judge, sweating profusely, smelling myself, wondering if that smell is me, and I am going over my lines and excuses I will tell God. And then I hear St. Peter say, "Next! He will see you now." And as I walk in looking at the ground God the Father, runs to me and embraces me and says, "My good and faithful servant! I am so proud of you! Welcome home."

It is always nice to dream isn't...

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom do I fear?

The LORD is my life's refuge; of whom am I afraid?

When evildoers come at me to devour my flesh,

These my enemies and foes themselves stumble and fall.

Though an army encamp against me,

my heart does not fear;

Though war be waged against me,

even then do I trust.

One thing I ask of the LORD;

this I seek: To dwell in the LORD'S house all the days of my life,

To gaze on the LORD'S beauty, to visit his temple.

For God will hide me in his shelter in time of trouble,

Will conceal me in the cover of his tent;

and set me high upon a rock.

Even now my head is held high above my enemies on every side!

I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;

I will sing and chant praise to the LORD.

- Psalm 27:1-6

Do not be afraid... for nothing is impossible for God.

- Luke 1:30,37

Our Catholic friend Mickey Rourke's interview with Barbara Walters. I really recommend you see it.

Pray well!

Love Thy Enemy

2010-02-27T22:04:00.009-05:00

+AMDG+

Love Thy Enemy

Here are today's readings:

Matthew 5:43-48

Jesus said to his disciples:
“You have heard that it was said,
You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.
But I say to you, love your enemies,
and pray for those who persecute you,
that you may be children of your heavenly Father,
for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good,
and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.
For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have?
Do not the tax collectors do the same?
And if you greet your brothers and sisters only,
what is unusual about that?
Do not the pagans do the same? So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

These are such difficult words! To be honest my initial reaction was, "well, who is my enemy?"

So I made a list of possible enemies:

I don't have an arch-nemesis like this:

Feels a little awkward

I don't think a specific race is my enemy:

I don't think I should stereotype a religious group, socio-economic class, political party, or a sexual orientation as being my enemy because they are not:

And then I was thinking, "Ah! Maybe my enemies are people who try to prevent me from getting to God." I asked two priests what they thought and the first one said, "Remember the Evil one causes them to do that and we don't have to love him. We can tell him to go to hell." Or as I suggested, "To stay in hell."

Drink your own poison, you home wrecker!!!!

And then I asked a different priest friend about who is my enemy, he said: "Maybe a better question is what does it mean to 'love' your enemy?"

That is a good question

This is what I came up with:

What does it mean "to love" your enemy?

Well what do I pray for when I pray for people I love?

That they may come to know You Lord. That they may know Your goodness and Your love for them. That You may bless their work and their ministries and that they may bring many people to you.

How do I treat those I love?

I listen to them. I share my joy and struggles with them. I make time for them because I look forward to seeing them. I want them to be happy and to face their struggles, not run away from them.

How do I love myself?

Recently I am having more mercy on myself and I am trying to be more honest about how I live my life and I keep trying to pray more, staying close to Jesus. Forgiving myself.

It is interesting to reflect how we love people and on how do we love those that are annoying, or rub us the wrong way, or put us down, or are abusive. This Christianity thing is not easy, my friend. I am struggling with this everyday. Our Christian life can be measured in our obedience to God, trust in His plan, and charity towards ourself and others.

I thought of this the other day:

Morality is about right and wrong. Charity is about going above and beyond.

Especially as Christians, our charity is called to go to infinity and beyond...

St. Buzz Lightyear of Space,

Model of Charity,

pray for us.

Pray well!

Go First and Reconcile with Your Brother

2010-02-26T14:55:00.006-05:00

+AMDG+

The Brothers Morgan-Núñez

Here are the readings for today.

Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar,
and there recall that your brother
has anything against you,
leave your gift there at the altar,
go first and be reconciled with your brother,
and then come and offer your gift.

- Matthew 5:23-24

I will keep this short today because the reading is simple. My brother and I had a fight the other day. We sometimes don't see eye to eye and the other day was one of those days. I just ask that you think of people who you are at odds with offer the olive branch. Try your best to reconcile so you can be at peace with one another. There is a great expression I've heard a while ago:

"Unforgiveness is like drinking the poison and hoping the other person dies"

For me it is always a pride issue. I need to let go of that. Any time is a great time to do that especially Lent. Reconcile as best you can because the Lord wants us all to be one and one with Him and the Father (John 17:22).

Reconcile and let go and you could have fun like this video shows!

Ask, Seek, Knock... but for What?

2010-02-25T23:59:00.001-05:00

+AMDG+

Here are the readings for today:

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

- Matthew 7:7-8

I feel like I have heard this so many times it was difficult for me to pray over it and with it. I have taken a long time to write about this because I am trying to hear them with new ears and read them with new eyes.

All that keeps coming to mind is:

What is it that we want? What do I really want?

I think I can pretend to know what I want; but when I spend most of my life asking the question, "Who am I?" can I really have an answer? I think I start to act/want/desire on instinct and emotional whims as opposed to being grounded in knowledge. I have had so many issues and problems that I am working through now because I have followed those whims. I am grateful for where I am in life and for the experiences that have brought me to the point; but it begs the question, what have I been looking for? What are we looking for?

I think many of us know what it is we are looking for for but we are just too scared to say it. We feel that others might make fun of us of, our dream will shatter, or we will fail, or we will get hurt if we let others inside our hearts.

I think sometimes our hearts can be a scary place because it can remind us how far off we are from where we deeply desire to be. And also if we know what to do or what we want, then we have to do something about it.

Dorothy Day, founder of the Catholic Worker Movement with Peter Maurin, says this:

"And the gift to be most afraid of is knowledge of what to do. Because if we know what to do, if our hearing has been sharpened and the Lord has spoken to us, and we do not pay attention, we are denying the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and we are failing in the virtues of faith , hope and charity. And if we keep on receiving inspirations and pay no attention to them for various reasons, then little by little that Voice will cease to speak, our hearts,will be hardened, our senses deadened, graces will be withdrawn from us. And then as we continue to receive Our Lord daily in the Blessed Sacrament, religion will indeed become for us the opium of the people."

-Dorothy Day

Then we can tell God, "Well I tried to follow You and You just didn't make it that clear." We still try to live in some fantasy world where we do what we want, and we say, "umm, Lord, I don't know what you want Lord, so I'll just keep doing things my way until you tell me in an obvious way. God's will be done."

I think we are scared of what we really want. I am reminded of this great scene in the movie Gladiator. Marcus Aurelius is talk to Maxmius and discussed the beauty of the dream of Rome. He says:

"There was a dream that was Rome.

You could only whisper it.

Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish,

it was so fragile."

- Marcus Aurelius from the movie Gladiator

I feel like this is how we feel about our dreams. We think our dreams are very precious and that they will destroyed by others. To prevent this we have tried to bury it so deep that no one will find it. We buried it so far down and now we forget where and how to get it.

I hope that God may show me what is my deepest desire and may show you yours.

Pray well!

Fiat Mihi Secundum Verbum Tuum

2010-02-25T14:18:00.002-05:00

+AMDG+

"Let is be done to me according to Thy Word."

Let us go and forget the world and live in God.

The Sign of Jonah

2010-02-24T16:13:00.003-05:00

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Not even photoshopped! This is a Whale Shark getting ready to eat!

Today's Readings

This is just an excerpt please read them from the link above.

Jonah began his journey through the city,
and had gone but a single day’s walk announcing,
“Forty days more and Nineveh shall be destroyed,”
when the people of Nineveh believed God;
they proclaimed a fast
and all of them, great and small, put on sackcloth.

- Jonah 3:4-5

“This generation is an evil generation;
it seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it,
except the sign of Jonah.

Just as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites,

so will the Son of Man be to this generation...

because at the preaching of Jonah they repented,
and there is something greater than Jonah here.”

-Luke 11:29-30,32

We can see the link to Lent with the 40 days of repentance and fasting in Jonah and God's mercy because of it. Jesus is angry at the fact that people do not understand why He is here. His teaching is not being understood and He will not do any magic tricks so that people might believe Him. The sign He will give us is the Resurrection, the only sign that is needed. This points to humanity that God will save and redeemed us from anything and everything; but do we believe that?

He says He will give us the Sign of Jonah. Jonah was in the belly of a whale for three days. I like to think this means that Jesus will be in the belly of the beast for three days. So what is that beast that he is in? I imagine this beast almost like Cerberus, the three-headed mythical dog that guards the Gates of Hades.

Disney's rendition in the animated movie Hercules. (Great movie and soundtrack!)

Each head represents something different. The first head is sin. The second head is death. The third head is separation. But the beast only has ONE body and that represents NOT TRUSTING IN GOD. In a sense sin, death, and separation are consequences of not trusting in God.

If we trusted in God and trusted that He has our best interest in mind then we wouldn't do things that offended Him. Sin is an offense to God. When we have someone in our life whom we trust with our life, we cherish that friendship. We would never want to betray or offend that person or their trust because we love them. If we trusted God, we would know that he has our best interest in mind and that we wouldn't need to grab for our happiness because we know it would be provided by God. God loves us unconditionally, it is not earned or loss EVER; He just loves us.

Our God is a God of the Living (Matthew 22:32). By the very fact of creation He wants His creation to have life and have it in abundance(John 10:10). We were NOT meant to die. Death is unnatural. It was never in God's original plan. But because of the Fall, because of man not trusting in God, man separated himself from God, who is Life itself. Grabbing the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was the ultimate act of self-destruction.

The third head is separation. We have been separated from God, others, and creation or maybe a better way of saying it is that we are not harmony with everything. We have forgotten our original connectedness that we once had. We can tell that something is off because it takes much work and disciple to recognize God's voice in our life.

Most of our relationships today are power struggles. Whether it is between a couple in a relationship or between friends, or large nations, or in our VERY Church itself. Someone has to be "on top." In relationships someone has to "wear the pants," as opposed to working together. Between our friends there is a need to be the best or the funniest or the best looking; and if someone wants to do a specific thing that others don't they become upset creating anxiety for the others. In nations countless wars are fought for resources, land, power, money, people, ideologies or whatever agendas are not on that list. Our Church has so much disunity and factions that one can see this very separation so clearly in a parish itself. Not to mention all the "Christian" churches out there causing more and more dismemberment in the Body of Christ.

So where is Jesus in all this? He has come not to capture the beats but to slay the beast.

He lets us know it is OK to trust God and that no matter how bad it gets God will always be there to bring us through it. Since we trust in God we will be brought through it not the way we THINK is best, but the way God KNOWS is best.

What does your experience tell? Think of a time when if you would have had what you wanted it would have been horrible. Sadly, I can think of like a dozen!

Think of your life. What does your experience say?

What does your heart say?

The same God that brought you to this point will not abandon you.

Jesus shows us that we can trust in God and he won't abandon us even though it may feel that way.

Well that is what came out of the reading from prayer and reflection. Or maybe the Jonah reference could refer to the song, My name is Jonas, by Weezer:

Great album!

Pray well!

How do we pray?

2010-02-23T10:56:00.008-05:00

+AMDG+

"Lord teach us to pray..." - Luke 11:1

Today's reading

A Reading from the Gospel according to Matthew.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“In praying, do not babble like the pagans,
who think that they will be heard because of their many words.
Do not be like them.
Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

“This is how you are to pray:

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

“If you forgive men their transgressions,
your heavenly Father will forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men,
neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”

I always have difficulty praying this prayer, the Our Father. I say it all the time. Every mass, every rosary, regular prayers, I pretty much say it everyday. We as Catholics say it everyday, let me say that again. WE SAY IT EVERYDAY.

Why do I stress this point?

St. Thomas Aquinas, as usual, puts it best:

"The Lord's Prayer is the most perfect of prayers. . . . In it we ask, not only for all the things we can rightly desire, but also in the sequence that they should be desired. This prayer not only teaches us to ask for things, but also in what order we should desire them."

This prayer is a double-edge sword, it can be our most liberating prayer we can say which can help us to never lose focus and deepen our relationship with God; or it can be the nail in our coffin.

"As WE forgive others..." I once heard a priest say at a teen mass say, "How does the 'Our Father' go? Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be my name. My Kingdom come, my will be done, on earth and forget about heaven. Right isn't that what say?" Everyone said no Father. He continued, "But isn't that what we mean though."

Do we really think God is our Father? Or that He is sacred and holy? Or that we want His will be done NOT ours? When we plan things out and ask God to make them happen, how can we say we really want His will to be done? Or is it that we HOPE His will ALIGNS with OURS? I was so inspired by this homily that I decided to finish "The World's Prayer":

our father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be My name,
My Kingdom come,
My will be done,
on earth and forget about heaven.
Give Me this day whatever I want;
and justify My trespasses,
as I hold against them, those whom got in My way;
and lead Me into temptation,
but deliver Me from Guilt. Amen.

It is such a difficult prayer that I wish we could preface it by saying: "Lord please make this my prayer!"

Be careful what you pray for, you might actually get it!

Pray well! Seriously, pray well!

To Whom Shall We Go? Archbishop Dolan DUH!!!!

2010-02-23T00:37:00.005-05:00

+AMDG+

A couple of weeks ago I saw Cardinal Schönborn, and today I got to meet the Archbishop of New York, Archbishop Dolan! He is Awesome!!!! What a great servant of God! Here he is at Theology on Tap in the city. Thanks to my friend Matt for bring the camera! You're awesome!

He is a great speaker and story teller. He was funny and charming this evening for sure!

He talked about St. Peter and the History of the papacy.

Then he shook hands with some of us. I was one of us.

Look how happy he looks. I totally get like a little girl around holy people.

He is showing us his pectoral cross.

We tried take a group shot and he was talking to my awesome friend Danny, in the blue shirt, about his cross.

At attempt number two I was trying to tell him to look at the camera but I am not about to tell an Archbishop what to do! LOL

He then asked Danny if he wanted to switch crosses and put his Pectoral Cross on Danny!!!!

Insane night God is good! He also told this amazing story of St. Peter at his martyrdom:

In 64AD the Roman Emperor, Nero who was one of the cruelest emperors of the all the Caesars, wanted to "clean up" Rome. So he set a fire in the slums of Rome to get rid of the poor people there. Thousands died that night and Nero figured he would blame it on the Christians, kill to birds with one stone. It would get rid of that new religion that is popping up. He put a bounty on the Bishop of Rome, which was St. Peter. St. Peter though he was transformed by Jesus he went back to his old ways... As he was leaving Rome passing through the Ostian Gate, he saw Jesus walking towards Rome. Peter said to Jesus, "My Lord, where are you going?" Or in Latin Quo Vadis? Our Lord answered "I am going to Rome to be crucified again." Peter, upon hearing this, got his courage from the Lord again and went back into Rome.

Archbishop Dolan then said, by the way, there's a great restaurant in Rome named Quo Vadis right on that spot -- you can get the best cannelloni there. Peter was captured and then taken to a little hill called the Vatican hill. There was a circus, an arena there and the great circus of the time was the martyrdom of the Christians. They wanted to execute him and they decided to crucify him like Jesus.

Peter said that he was unworthy to be crucified like Our Lord and demanded to be crucified upside-down. The Archbishop then said this, "I wonder what was thinking as looked out at Rome, seeing the city and everything in it upside down. I think Peter thought of the Lord who turned his life, his world, his values upside-down. He thought of the one who challenged everything he knew and believed. Even then looking at the world upside down, everything seemed more right side up than it had been before."

Caravaggio: Crucifixion of St. Peter

A Reading from the Gospel According to John.

When they had finished breakfast,

Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"

He said to him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs."

He then said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

He said to him, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep."

He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, "Do you love me?"

and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."

(Jesus) said to him, "Feed my sheep.

Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted;

but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."

He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God.

And when he had said this, he said to him,

"Follow me."

- John 21:15-19

But, who do YOU say I am?

2010-02-22T22:40:00.004-05:00

+AMDG+

[This is my journal entry for today not really a blog entry though.]

"He said to them, 'But who do you say I am?'" - Matthew 16:15

I keep reading this passage and this line always sticks out I feel it is the most important question that I can answer. And I don't know why I avoid it? I feel any answer I give is going to be inadequate. And it will be because I could never sum up anyone in a couple of words. I feel like I need to give some big, huge, answer like, "Lord, you are the Alpha and Omega, the Eternal One, the Savior of Mankind, the God-man, The Prince of peace, the King of Kings."

I wonder if the other 11 [disciples] felt the same way. "I gotta say something more so I could be His favorite..." so He could love me more. I think that I have to give a big answer to impress Him so He loves me more or even The Most. He already does. Maybe if I gave a big answer, I would think it would justify His love, not knowing that Him loving me is based not on me but it's because I am His. I think why Peter's answer is so perfect is because its honest. Jesus doesn't want a big answer or an "impressive" Theological Doctrine on who He is. He already knows who He is! He doesn't want the big answer, He just wants the honest one.

I think that is why Peter is the Prince of the Apostles because he was at least honest with the Lord. When he was scared, he was scared. When he was overwhelmed, he was overwhelmed. When he was tired, he slept. When Jesus mentions he must die, Peter, I think out of love, said "NO!" I am pretty sure the others thought the same, Peter just said it.

"But Louis, who do you say that I am?"

Lord I have been thinking about this and I think I have an idea. You are my Joy, you make me happy, I LOVE talking about you to people. You are better than sliced bread and you know how much I love sliced bread. You are the one who I talk to when I am scared, when I am grateful, you guide me through life. You are the guy I wanna be like. I want to have everyone know how awesome you are and how good you have been to me throughout my whole life. You are the one I like to look like a fool for or be dramatic because it makes you smile. You are the one I love Lord.

"Blessed are you Louis for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you but Our Heavenly Father has. Continue to be a great warrior for me."

The Chair of St. Peter

2010-02-22T14:02:00.005-05:00

+AMDG+

Today is the Feast of the Chair of St. Peter. By Peter's authority comes the authority of the Pope and Our church. I am going to write a meditation later but this always amazed me and I love to share this with people.

This is the center of the next next picture. It is the Holy Spirit above the Chair of St. Peter in St. Peter's Basilica in Rome.

The Wing Span is 6 feet wide.

And if you figure the priest saying mass is about roughly 5 1/2 to 6 feet. This is a massive structure. Peter must have been a BIG guy! Pray well!