Sunday, March 21, 2010
So today I sent an email.
I know that doesn't sound like a big deal because of how many emails are sent a day but this one has a prayer attached to it.
The Psalms tells us that Our Lord searches our hearts and soul.
But why is my heart so hidden that is don't even know what it is hiding. I spend so much time wondering what is in my heart that it sadens me. It took the flipping of a coin to help me realize what is my desire.
"And Louis casted lots for his heart."
For my heart... How often do I do things for or even from my heart? I am not talking about just eating better but I am talking about what feeds my soul. I sometimes focus on my wounds so much I forget how well the other parts are doing. I believe I am so used to this pain that I don't even want to get better!
"When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, "Do you want to be well?""
- John 5:6
When I heard this I remember thinking, "well duh! Who wouldn't want to be healed?" Well if that is the case then why don't I do things that help me be well.
So I try to heal myself. And try again. And again. And I get angry because I can't heal myself. And therein lies the problem. I cannot heal myself.
What a profound reality!
I need a healer! I always think I need God when I can't do something, but it is because of God that I can do anything. But healing is like growing, I can only contribute to an environment for those events to occur. And God does the growing. I need a Savior because I can't save myself.
Lord help me to accept you as my Savior because I cannot save myself at all! I am the one causing my problems as it is!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to listen to Jesus,
but the Pharisees and scribes began to complain, saying,
(The Pharisees were very concerned with legalistic purity. They wanted the rules in Leviticus, which were meant for the Levites and priest, to be applied to everyone. They asserted their Jewish identity by want to separate completely from Gentiles. Tax collectors worked with and for those very same Gentiles; and the sinners were ritually impure people. They did not like Jesus for this at all!)
“This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
So to them Jesus addressed this parable.
“A man had two sons, and the younger son said to his father,
‘Father, give me the share of your estate that should come to me.’
(At the time for a son to ask for his inheritance it meant that he didn't if his father lived or died. The younger son just wanted the money and if anything preferred the father to die already so he could get the money.)
So the father divided the property between them.
After a few days, the younger son collected all his belongings
and set off to a distant country
where he squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation.
(He acted on impulse and did not plan well at all. He wasted his money by misuse.)
When he had freely spent everything, (This was some SERIOUS partying!)
a severe famine struck that country,
and he found himself in dire need.
So he hired himself out to one of the local citizens
who sent him to his farm to tend the swine.
And he longed to eat his fill of the pods on which the swine fed,
but nobody gave him any.
(Since he is talking to Jews, we can pretty much be sure that this family was Jewish. For this younger son to hire himself out to local citizens, or Gentiles, to take care of the pigs, which were animals that were NOT kosher, and more than likely they would also make him work on the Sabbath. To the Pharisees. whom he was addressing, this is one of the worse things that could happen to a person; it would be better to be dead.)
Coming to his senses he thought,
‘How many of my father’s hired workers
have more than enough food to eat,
but here am I, dying from hunger.
I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him,
“Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.
I no longer deserve to be called your son;
treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers.”’
(He wasn't actually sorry. He was going to tell his father what he thought his father wanted to hear. He was not sincere because he just wanted to get out of his situation and not necessarily make amends with his father. You can almost hear him practicing his speech over and over again as he walked home.)
So he got up and went back to his father.
While he was still a long way off,
his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion.
He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.
(His father was waiting for him and RAN to his son. Instead of hating his son for wanting him dead, he RAN to his son, EMBRACED him and KISSED him. When was the last time when you ran, embraced, and kissed someone who hurt and wounded you in the worst way possible? I can tell you when was mine. NEVER. I can't even imagine loving like that. I know I am not near that but I would like to be at a point in my life.)
His son said to him,
‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you;
I no longer deserve to be called your son.’
But his father ordered his servants,
‘Quickly, bring the finest robe and put it on him;
put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.
Take the fattened calf and slaughter it.
Then let us celebrate with a feast,
because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again;
he was lost, and has been found.’
Then the celebration began.
(His dad really didn't care what his son had to say. The son didn't have to say anything at all. The father was just happy to see him. How many times when someone hurts me do I expect this big apology and to see them truly sorry for what they did. Or least to have seen them suffer something for the wrong they did. In our own lives, "we say what goes around comes around." If the father were to say, "Since I am dead to you, you are dead to me." And everyone would have said that would have been perfectly fine and justifiable. But that is not what the father did.)
Now the older son had been out in the field
and, on his way back, as he neared the house,
he heard the sound of music and dancing.
He called one of the servants and asked what this might mean.
The servant said to him,
‘Your brother has returned
and your father has slaughtered the fattened calf
because he has him back safe and sound.’
He became angry,
and when he refused to enter the house,
his father came out and pleaded with him.
He said to his father in reply,
‘Look, all these years I served you
and not once did I disobey your orders;
yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends.
But when your son returns
who swallowed up your property with prostitutes,
for him you slaughter the fattened calf.’
(Wow, how long was this older brother holding this in for? Another thing that was interesting is that HE became angry, HE refused to enter the house and the father had to beg HIM to come inside and celebrate.' Our own anger and the things we cannot let go of only prevent us from enjoying life. Sometimes we choose to try to hurt people by withdrawing our presence from them. I do not think if the father also gave him a fatted calf everything would be better. The older son says something interesting in that when he accuses his brother he says, "YOUR son," not "MY brother." He wants to disassociate himself from his family. Also he accuse his brother of wasting it on prostitutes, all we know in the parable is that he 'dissipated' it. He said this to hurt his whom he felt hurt him.)
He said to him,
‘My son, you are here with me always;
everything I have is yours.
But now we must celebrate and rejoice,
because your brother was dead and has come to life again;
he was lost and has been found.’“
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
and dined sumptuously each day.
And lying at his door was a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores,
who would gladly have eaten his fill of the scraps
that fell from the rich man’s table.
for I have five brothers, so that he may warn them,
lest they too come to this place of torment.’
But Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the prophets.
Let them listen to them.’
He said, ‘Oh no, father Abraham,
but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’
Then Abraham said,
‘If they will not listen to Moses and the prophets,
neither will they be persuaded
if someone should rise from the dead.’
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Christ and his Church thus together make up the "whole Christ" (Christus totus). The Church is one with Christ. The saints are acutely aware of this unity:
- Let us rejoice then and give thanks that we have become not only Christians, but Christ himself. Do you understand and grasp, brethren, God's grace toward us? Marvel and rejoice: we have become Christ. For if he is the head, we are the members; he and we together are the whole man. . . . The fullness of Christ then is the head and the members. But what does "head and members" mean? Christ and the Church. - St. Augustine
Our redeemer has shown himself to be one person with the holy Church whom he has taken to himself. - Pope Gregory the Great
Head and members form as it were one and the same mystical person. - St. Thomas Aquinas
A reply of St. Joan of Arc to her judges sums up the faith of the holy doctors and the good sense of the believer: "About Jesus Christ and the Church, I simply know they're just one thing, and we shouldn't complicate the matter." - St. Joan of Arc